To Wean or Not To Wean?

This is my question.
Don't answer it, I know what you'll say.
You'll say its more healthy for her to breastfeed, its more convenient since her food is always connected to me, blah blah blah.

I've made up my mind. I will wean her soon. These past two weeks she has gone to daycare 2-3 days a week. She does awesome! The first day I was worried about her taking the bottle since she protests it every time we try. She took it like it was part of her daily routine :) So the other night I tried giving her the bottle at night instead of breastfeeding, she loved it! That night she didn't breastfeed once, I pumped of course, you can't let that precious milk go to waist. Of course she loves the boob more. So as of now, she takes the bottle when I'm not there, and when I feel like warming breastmilk up in the hot hot water instead of whipping my boob out.

Here is my list of pro's & con's of breastfeeding when my baby is 8 1/2 months old

Pro's

• I love the bonding
  
• She loves the boob
• It's easy and convenient
  
• It's the best milk you can find
• It's FREE!!
• This is the longest I've gone, Jaimen weaned himself at 3-4 months, he preferred the bottle. It's nice to actually have someone prefer me over something else
• It's amazing that I can provide food for her, and she loves me for that
• Nice big boobies :)
• I am her favorite person, and I don't want that to change... ever
  

Con's

• She bites
• When she bites she pulls, like its a chew toy
• My nipple hurts... can I say nipple? Well, I just did
• I can't go anywhere without her, and vise versa
  
• Jaimen is getting sick of it, and demanding attention when its feeding time, negative attention
• It's draining, literally :)
• What I mean is, she is depleting my body of the good stuff. My bones are week, my body is tired, and my boob really hurts!
• I want to go out, and not have to worry about when she needs to eat
• I need some freedom again
  

So that about sums it up. Sounds like my mind is made up huh?

I am like an alcoholic. I want one last time, like an alcoholic wants 'just one more drink.' I tell myself, "This is the last time." Then in the morning I find myself wanting to feed her and bond with her that way 'just once more.'
I am not sure if I need to go cold turkey, or to feed her when I feel like it. A huge part of me just wants to quit, and be done with it, but the other part doesn't want to stop. This is my last baby, as per Alan, and this is the last time I will get to do this.... That makes me sad, that makes me keep doing it 'just once more'

My Kids

I just realized I haven't done a monthly update on my sweet little Presley, who by the way is growing like a weed, well maybe she's not BIG, but she is learning like a weed (do weeds learn?)

Anywhoo here is a post about the kids, and some cute pics too.

Presley is now 7 1/2 months old.... how the heck did this happen? I don't want a 1 year old, I want a baby. Can I just put a brick on her head to postpone this growing thing?

At her 6 month check up she weighed 14.4lbs.
One day she learned how to sit up on her own, she was loving that, loving the new view. Then another day she crawled, the next day she was in the kitchen, the bathroom, all over the house. She continues to explore, she is my little explorer. Jaimen was always content with what was in front of him, not her, she always has to travel the house to find something to put in her mouth and choke on. Jaimen never choked on anything either, within the past week Alan has pulled 2 small toys out of her throat. Time to re-babyproof, go through all of Jaimen's toys and pull out anything of harm to her. Right now as I am writing this she is having the time of her life playing with an empty milk jug :) and now she's over that and onto the next thing.
I am still breastfeeding because she refuses to take a bottle... still. Okay maybe I haven't tried as hard as I should to get her to take the bottle, but soon I will. She has become my little vampiress. She likes to bite, and then she laughs about my pain, come on that's my boob your biting! I'll tell you one thing, when she cuts her first tooth and decides to bite... I am done feeding.

Jaimen is as full of himself as he's always been, or maybe more. He is become this monster, that I, by the way, didn't ask for. I asked for a nice, respectable little boy. He used to be that nice mannered boy, then one day he woke up and decided enough is enough. He protests everything... and I mean EVERYTHING. No matter how much love or attention I show him, he seems to act out just the same and demand more attention. I am not sure if he wants me to give him negative attention or positive. He doesn't seem to respond to my positive reinforcement. At. All.

There are good days too, when he decides to have fun with the family and be nice, and its those days that I live for, its those days that I dream of when I close my eyes. Every morning I dread waking up because I don't know if I am getting Dr. Jekylle or Mr. Hyde. I pray for that good, nice boy but seem to keep getting that evil in him. My mom laughs and says that's the way I was. This is not funny to me because I did not get along with my mom, or have that great relationship with her until I moved out of her house, and that's not what I want with my son. So I am pulling all the ropes trying whatever I can to avoid this love/hate relationship with him. But fate seems to be a little stronger than I am. Any advise?
A great thing about Jaimen, when he is being nice, he is the funniest boy ever! I love his conversations with me. He is always talking, and I love what he has to talk about. Love his made up stories about whatever it may be. I love that he has a love for reading with us, he makes it so fun! He finally remembered a dream that he had the other night, and it was fun to talk about in the morning, although it was a scary dream, it was fun for me to see him remembering that. I loved remembering my dreams as a kid, they were so fun to play over in my mind.

On with the pictures...

This is when we went bowling with the family, both kids had fun, especially Jaimen.


He did so good by waiting his turn, and letting us help him with the ball. He loves bowling!


Cute kiddos!


Halloween 2009... we did good this year, on our Costumes I mean, they turned out amazing!
Jaimen was the COWARDLY lion and it fit him perfectly, this is the face he put on the entire Halloween party.


Jaimen had fun trick-or-treating this year although he wouldn't hold his bag, or say trick-or-treat... oh well many years to come for that.


So that's that. I will try to keep up on my blogging from now on. It's just been a rough rollercoaster

Farewell my friend...

Like a good man said, "Cole, I will never say goodbye, but rather farewell till we meet again....I love you and always will....R.I.P."



Cole,

You never understood or knew how much I nor Alan loved you. You lit up our hearts and our faces when we would see you. I am so lucky to have known you, and not only known you but lucky to have spent some of the best years with you. I am honored to say you were one of our best friends, having you in our wedding and being blessed with having you present when Alan proposed to me. We shared some of our best moments in life with you and that means so much to me, and I know to Alan as well. I don't know what was going on in your mind, I know you didn't mean to do it, because Cole wouldn't have done this. You will take this to your grave. I am so saddened we had to put you in the ground and say our goodbyes for now. I hope you enjoy the balloons from your daughters, and from your family and friends. I know that you have gotten them by now, and are smiling down at us. Please help us during this time for we are missing you and grieving for the life we lost. I know that you will watch over your girls, and I want you to know that we will as well, we will tell them how wonderful you were and we have some great stories to remember you by. Thank you so much for letting us be a part of your life, I will miss those warm loving hugs of yours. No one could give a hug like you, Cole, I could feel your true warmth and love with each hug you gave me, made me feel so loved and warm inside.
I will miss you more than you'll ever know Cole, until we meet again, I love you.

Love,
Lynsie

Happy 50th Momma!

October 7th was my momma's 50th birthday. As much as she tried to avoid it, there is no way I was going to let that happen. I wanted to celebrate the years she has been here, and the years she has been my momma. She is such a wonderful, selfless person and she needed something done for her for a change.

Her bff Caralee threw her a surprise party the weekend before her birthday, and I had been planning a surprise disco party for her for a month now. She had so much fun at both parties and only got suspicious once.
Here are a few pictures...


Caralee is the one holding my Presley, such a good friend


Mom & Joleene


Our family minus Alan

Disco's Back, BABY!!

Her jaw about dropped to the floor


Mom and D'Ann dancin' it up


My wonderful Grandparents, check out my grandma's leather skirt! Its the BEST!


The disco kings & queens


Two good lookin' dudes... especially the one in white pants, who is that hottie??
(I love Garet's Fara Faucet hair, click on this pic to make bigger and check it out)


Damn we are good lookin'

My mom is so giving, she would jump leaps and bounds for anyone, even a complete stranger. These last few years her parents have been having a hard time, in and out of the hospital, rehab centers, doctors offices, anxiety problems, etc. My mom has taken them to every doctor appointment, every surgery scheduled, sat in the hospital for countless hours, talked my grandma down from anxiety attacks. She has been there for them more than anyone has been there for someone. I never realized how much she has helped until recently, all the while helping them, she still works, and has time to help with my Jaimen when I need it, date a little, and enjoy life. I love her with all my heart, and couldn't ask for a better mother to have brought me to this world. I am so lucky to have her, and so proud to call her my momma.

Happy Birthday Momma... I know you will never see this, but I do, I love you so much!

So Tired

I am so tired. I haven't been blogging, like you couldn't tell?

My body is tired of being a source of food, she is depleting me, fast, but I will not stop because I love it!

I am tired of telling, no yelling, to Jaimen, "Stop growling at the dogs!", "Stop chasing the dogs!", "In fact, don't look at the dogs, don't think about the dogs, and don't even think about talking to them, or looking at them!" TIRED. OF. IT.
Does this ever end?
Why is he so obsessed over the dogs? I mean seriously kid, you live with them, aren't you bored yet?

I am tired of my house/dining room looking like a tornado just hit. I can't clean it, every time I make an attempt baby cries, Jaimen chases a dog, my phone rings, dinner needs to be made, party needs to be planned, I need to pee. It never ends.

I. AM. TIRED.

Aren't you just tired of reading this? Wait. I mean after. After reading this?

Jaimen's finger hurts

It hurts real bad.

Jen's super duper cute give-away!

I just had to enter my friend, JEN'S, give-away she is having on her blog. This would be the cutest decoration for Presley's 1st Birthday.

I am currently protesting Presley getting bigger, and growing up, but it is inevitable that it will happen one day, and on that day I WANT, no NEED this banner at her party. So go check out her blog and enter her give-away. Oh and while your over there, tell her to pick ME! :)

But Whyyyy?

I was warned about the inquisitive nature of a 3 year old.
But seriously, WHY?

Yes Jaimen we are going outside.
"WHY?"
Because you wanted to go outside.
"WHY?"
Because you wanted to play with your toys.
"WHY?"
I don't know you tell me.

"Is it bedtime?"
Yes.
"WHY?"
Because its past 8:30 and 8:30 is your bedtime.
"WHY?"
Look at the clock see that hand? That hand is supposed to be here so its gone all the way around to here. That means its past your bedtime.
(Now he's quiet :)

"Can I have gum?"
NO.
"WHY?"
Because last time you had gum you dropped it in your car seat."
"Nu huh, I dwopped it on yo caw flo"
(cashier at Target starts laughing about now)
Okay, so this means you get gum?
"Yeah"
NO.
"WHY?"

"It's 20 o'clock?"
(laughing) No. (still laughing)
"WHY?"
(again, laughing, this makes it so I don't have to answer, because he knows he's funny)

He is definately a 3 year old.
And I have found myself saying something I swore I would NEVER say "Because I'm the mom and I said so!" I have even heard Alan tell him a time or two, "Because she's your mom, that's why."

There is nothing better

There is nothing better than sitting here feeding my Presley while listening to the sound of Jaimen giggling at his dad in the other room. NOTHING.

In lieu of the loss we have had in our family this past week, and the beautiful memorial tonight, I am feeling extra grateful and lucky to have my life.

I don't know how to say it better, but I LOVE my family more than I could ever express into words.

Happy 3rd Birthday Jaimen

Jaimen,
I can't believe its been 3 years today that I was holding a beautiful newborn baby boy in my arms. Though we've had our fair share of tantrums, both you and I, it has been the best 3 years. Your laugh is contagious, and so is your smile. I never dreamt of someone so pure, so wonderful, so like me & your dad :) There is so much I love about you, so here's a little list

• I love the way you tell me you love me so so so much, and when you say it for no reason at all.
• I love when you come in and cuddle with me in the morning.
• I love that you love your daddy and Presley so so much.
• I love your smile, and your big cheesy face, that you only pull when me or dad gets the camera out.
• I love the way you say basagna instead of lasagna or gamato instead of tomato.
• I love when you get off the phone you say love you, bye, every single time. Sometimes its love you garbage can/recycling bin. (Not sure where you got this, but its hilarious)
• I love when we get home each day you go straight to your room to put your things away without being told.
• I love that your a 'big boy' and go potty, and have since Dec. 26th. Of course with a 'few' accidents here and there.
  
• I love when you pick two different toys to sleep with each night. Tonight it is the basketball and the monster-truck you got for your birthday.
• I love that you love to be tickled, softly. "Tickle my back, tickle my feets, tickle my arms." Oh and I love that you love to tickle back.
• I love that you are such a sweet soul, who loves to be his own person, even though you don't quite know who that may be.
• I love that you picked me a flower today, and you carried it around with you all day long.

There are so many things I love about you, but most of all I love you so so so so so much, to the moon, to the stars, to the sky and beyond. I love you more than you will ever know.
Jaimen when I look at you, I am happy, I am full, and I am content because you are you and know one else.
Thank you Jaimen for picking to be a part of our family, we are so blessed.

I love you!

Happy Birthday!

Love,
Momma

She's a natural

Alan said the first thing she did when he got on with her was grab the handlebars and started laughing...

I think we are in trouble.

She was smiling from ear to ear the entire time she was on the bike :)
Not sure what Alan is doing?? I think he thought they were going real fast in the back of the truck :) silly man

Oh and the boy is not such a natural at this...

There are about 10 pictures that Jaimen took while I was changing Presley.
The others include me in my bra and jeans, not posting, sorry, some fuzzy carpet, and fuzzy eyeballs.
I have to say Alan does not ever wear those 'wife-beater' tank tops, we were getting ready for family pictures and we thought it would be funny if Alan showed up in one... it was.

Interview of a 3 year old

Here is a fun interview I did with Jaimen this evening. I advise on NOT interviewing a 3 year old, unless you want the same answers over and over again.
We had fun, I laughed, and I hope you enjoy Jaimen's interview about Mom.


1. What is something mom always says to you?
um....MOM!

2. What makes me happy?
me

3. What makes mom sad?
me (this is not so)

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
chase me

5. What was your mom like as a child
me child

6. How old is your mom?
2

7. How tall is your mom?
BIG

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
special (???)

9. What does your mom do when your not around?
laughs (yes sometimes Jaimen, in that tricky high pitched witch laugh. hehehe)

10. What is your mom very good at?
(he refused to answer, maybe because the answer is not much)

11. If mom becomes famous what would it be for?
um... famous! (I'm gonna guess he has no clue what 'famous' is)

12. What is your mom not very good at?
(again no answer, to many to think of?)

13. What does your mom do for her job?
work

14. What is your mom favorite food?
mine

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
make me proud

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Ice Age

17. What do you and your mom do together?
Ice Age

18. How are you and your mom the same?
Ice Age

19. How are you and your mom different?
I'm different

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
no one

Okay so can you see why it might not be a good idea to interview a 3 year old? Or maybe I should have tried when he wasn't running around me for the 100th time in a row, or jumping over the pillows he made into "BIG JUMPS"

Another Contest

I entered Presley in Gerber's Cutest Baby Contest.
I know 2 contests in 1 month?
I must be crazy.

Or...
I just know Presely IS the cutest baby, and everyone else MUST know too.

Here is the link to go VOTE

(oh and this time I used a better picture)

Water Fun

We have been having a ton of fun boating, and swimming in this HOT weather, here are a few pics of us enjoying ourselves!


Jaimen loves boating, he says "Dad, do BIG wheelie!"

Click on this picture, look at her smile, I have never seen it bigger

I don't think she is enjoying herself as much as her brother, wouldn't you say?

Baby Contest

For those of you that didn't get my mass text to vote for Presley in the Standard Examiner's Baby Photo Contest...

Vote for her by texting BABY 52 to 801-513-8855. You can only vote once from each cell number, so if your my real friend you'll steal your other friends phones and text a vote from their phones as well :)

I am not super happy about the way the picture turned out once sent to them, then minimized to thumbnail size in the paper, the coloring is all wrong. There are so many other pictures of her that I love more. But you all know what is true and that is that Presley is the Cutest Baby Ever!

So

Go

Vote!

oh and here is a link in case you really want to see the other not so cute babies she is up against, there are like 600!

I should have submitted this picture...

or this one...



maybe this one


what about this one? just look at her chubbiness, its sooooo cute. I want to eat her up


Anywhoo she IS the cutest in any picture, so it wouldn't have mattered what picture I submitted.
What are you still doing here? Go Vote!

The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly

Waking up to this little cutie at 7am... laughing, at what? I don't know. Dancing faeries on the ceiling? Teddie Bears tickling her? She refuses to tell me, she's afraid the mean mom in me will make it stop.
(I promise Presley I won't)

This is the GOOD (actually the Best!)

Waking up to this at 4am, 2 inches from your face, just staring, not one peep, about makes you jump right out of your jammies. You know when your sleeping and for some reason you feel someone looking at you? You open your eyes to your sweet husband admiring you in your slumber? This is not like that AT ALL. Its a little bit scary.

This is the BAD.
He likes to wake up in the middle of the night because his blankey comes un-covered from the entire bed, its still covering him, but the corner of the bed is showing :( the sadness.

Waking up to this at 6am is just wrong. Plain WRONG. It puts you in a bad mood from the start, and I haven't quite figured out how to get myself out of that bad mood. That is my driveway and my husbands POS car you can see, and my bedroom, and my children's bedrooms are all on that side of the house. It sounds like they are on my pillow and not an inch farther. Jaimen is lucky he has a humidifier we run and it drowns the noise out.

This is the UGLY!

3 Months....

Well she's 3 months. *sniff sniff*

Alan caught me telling someone she's 2 1/2 months the day before yesterday.
He say's, "You know she's 3 months right?"
I said, "Not yet."
I am in denial.
I did the same thing when Jaimen turned 2, I didn't have anything planned for his party until the very last minute.
When in denial, just ignore it, then it won't come. Or will it?
Well it did, she is 3 Months if you count the days, if you go by the actual date she will be 3 months tomorrow, whatever, she is 3 Months.
Okay now I am okay, now that I have said it 4 times.
She is 3 Months Old!! (5 times)

Here is a little collage of what we have been doing.

She has basically been laying on the floor while Jaimen has all the fun. She seems kinda bored with it all.

Seriously though, here is what she has been doing-

• smiling so much and so big

• being a super happy baby, I LOVE having a happy baby, its so fun

• throwing out a few giggles here and there, mostly at daddy. He's the funny looking one :)
  

• kicking her legs around, I think her hands are trying to find them

• holding her head up and legs stiff like she's older than she really is, and it makes her seem older too

• gaining weight like crazy- at least it seems that way when I carry her in the car seat

• going to bed earlier, which sometimes results in more night-time feedings...ugh

• making herself more of a schedule, since I won't do it for her

• talking a lot, Jaimen LOVES that she does this

• still not wanting anything to do with a binkie or a bottle

• loving being a part of this crazy family, I hope :)

• trying to sit up

Writing this and realizing that its JULY already makes me think, that Jaimen will be 3 in 2 short months!
3 Years Old!

That is just CRAZY.

I never thought I would have a 3 year old. I really really never thought I would say "my kids"
It just sounds like something a grown up would say, and I don't really think I am grown up. I still feel 18, minus the alcohol in large quantities (don't judge me), still pluggin away at my fathers business, with a little extra baggage (those are my kids).
When we decided to have Jaimen, I just thought, 'I'm ready' I didn't really think about it, or I would have thought different, not really :)
But seriously when you think- "I want kids" you don't really think -KIDS- or at least you don't think of the life you have when you receive your kids. At least we didn't. We just thought it was probably time, if we were going to do it, and we wouldn't trade it for the world. Or at least I wouldn't, I won't speak for Alan, but I am sure he wouldn't trade it either. Someday's we might think hard and long about it, but NEVER EVER EVER.
I love my two babies more than life itself and I am sooooo Thankful that God gave them to us, we are not deserving of such wonderful human beings in our life.

Well this concludes my intention of writing a small post on Presley turning 3 months, if your still reading, Thanks, if not nevermind, your not reading so I won't write anything to you.

I hope you have a happy day :)

Reading is Awesome

Jaimen loves story time before bed. He loves the excitement of picking the books he wants to read.
Here are a few of Jaimen's favorite books, why he loves them so, and why I love them too.

He likes momma to read him this one, because the story is all about Little Llama and Momma Llama. I like that this book is just 'ours', it rhymes very cute, has funny illustrations of Baby Llama freaking out, and when we come to the page where she is doing dishes and on the phone he always asks. "Who momma llama talking?"

He likes daddy to read this one, and sometimes momma too. He likes how daddy does all the fun noises and he likes to join in and do them too. In fact, we aren't quite sure what a hippopotamus says, but in the book it states "He can sound like a hippopotamus chewing" "Grum, Grum" So now that is what hippo's say -Grum Grum


This has got to be my new favorite one. The illustrations are amazing! I just get caught up looking at every single detail in each picture. The story is about a pig and an elephant and how even though you can be so different from someone, you can love that person so much. I cry a little each time I read this one. I think this teaches a good lesson, not me crying, but the book.



Jaimen likes to participate in the reading of this book. 'And the dog said' "Not I." 'And the cat said' "Not I". 'And the mouse said' "Not I". He just loves being able to take on their voices in this book. And I love that it teaches him that when asked to help the nice respectable thing to do is Help. ( I know he is 2, maybe it will teach him this lesson when he is 5?)


This isn't particularly a 'favorite' of his. He just said some funny stuff the other night when I read it to him.
Read the following page.


Notice the SPAM part?
Jaimen: "We no like spam"
Me: laughing
Jaimen: "What?"
Me: "Did your dad tell you we don't like spam?
Jaimen: "No"
And he really didn't, Jaimen came up with that one all himself.

See the next two pages:

Alan is not very happy about Jaimen's portrayal of him in this book.

I however am quite satisfied, check out them chompers I've got. And I have always wanted to 'walk like an Egyptian' (if you did not read that last line with a bit of a tune there is something wrong with you.)

And of course this one. We just barely started reading this one last week, and already I called Jaimen a Wild Thing and he said 'I want to be Max'. I was stunned to hear that he remembers the boys name already, and that he would relate what I called him to this book.

Jaimen has probably close to 150 books already, and we are kind of getting sick of reading the same ones. So if any of you have some favorites, let me know what they might be so we can check them out.