Don't answer it, I know what you'll say.
You'll say its more healthy for her to breastfeed, its more convenient since her food is always connected to me, blah blah blah.
I've made up my mind. I will wean her soon. These past two weeks she has gone to daycare 2-3 days a week. She does awesome! The first day I was worried about her taking the bottle since she protests it every time we try. She took it like it was part of her daily routine :) So the other night I tried giving her the bottle at night instead of breastfeeding, she loved it! That night she didn't breastfeed once, I pumped of course, you can't let that precious milk go to waist. Of course she loves the boob more. So as of now, she takes the bottle when I'm not there, and when I feel like warming breastmilk up in the hot hot water instead of whipping my boob out.
Here is my list of pro's & con's of breastfeeding when my baby is 8 1/2 months old
Pro's
- I love the bonding
- She loves the boob
- It's easy and convenient
- It's the best milk you can find
- It's FREE!!
- This is the longest I've gone, Jaimen weaned himself at 3-4 months, he preferred the bottle. It's nice to actually have someone prefer me over something else
- It's amazing that I can provide food for her, and she loves me for that
- Nice big boobies :)
- I am her favorite person, and I don't want that to change... ever
- She bites
- When she bites she pulls, like its a chew toy
- My nipple hurts... can I say nipple? Well, I just did
- I can't go anywhere without her, and vise versa
- Jaimen is getting sick of it, and demanding attention when its feeding time, negative attention
- It's draining, literally :)
- What I mean is, she is depleting my body of the good stuff. My bones are week, my body is tired, and my boob really hurts!
- I want to go out, and not have to worry about when she needs to eat
- I need some freedom again
So that about sums it up. Sounds like my mind is made up huh?
I am like an alcoholic. I want one last time, like an alcoholic wants 'just one more drink.' I tell myself, "This is the last time." Then in the morning I find myself wanting to feed her and bond with her that way 'just once more.'
I am not sure if I need to go cold turkey, or to feed her when I feel like it. A huge part of me just wants to quit, and be done with it, but the other part doesn't want to stop. This is my last baby, as per Alan, and this is the last time I will get to do this.... That makes me sad, that makes me keep doing it 'just once more'
